Dear Master Strongheart & Master Wells,

I am writing on behalf of black belt candidate Gail Cribbs. She will be an incredible black belt! Her focus, persistence, and determination is infectious. She always comes in with a smile on her face and a welcoming, joyful spirit. Her commitment and leadership is inspiring, and will continue to inspire students to come.

Respectfully, 

Jessica Merly

I have thought a long time about my journey to obtain my black belt and what it means to me now and in the future.  Several times on my journey I came at a crossroads, due to injuries.  Each time I faced the decision, do I hang it up or do I work through it, adjust and continue on. 

It has been a journey!  I look at obtaining my black belt not as the end of the journey but a checkpoint, recognition of the work both mentally and physically and of the growth and achievements. 

I look back at where I started 5 1/2 years ago and am surprised at both the physical and mental changes.  Though I have always been active and athletic, most of my previous activities did not require coordination and grace.  I have learned to harness the power that I have and perform the forms if not with grace certainly with coordination! I have learned to unleash the power when needed. I have learned about channeling my energy and most I have learned focus.  You can't get to black belt without focus!

During training, working through injuries and facing the decision to pick up and keep going I faced some of the most mental challenges of all.  Challenge of getting back on the floor after injuring myself during a test, challenge to mentally start doing jumps, along with the challenge of listening to your body.  Knowing when it is ok to back off because of fatigue or injury, knowing when to continue to push yourself when you might not feel like it(but always feeling better after having pushed myself), the challenge to let yourself know that it is ok to not be the fastest, strongest person in every class and that being the best that you can be is all that is required.

There is so much more that I experienced on the journey, the love and support of ALL the instructors, fellow students, the patience, camaraderie experienced on the floor every class, supporting each other through the highs and lows of training and life.

The black belt I hope to be is one who shares the lessons that I learned with the lower belts, encouraging them through the physical and mental challenges, to take it one step at a time.  Letting them know that it is ok to not be able to do everything that everyone else is doing, but being the best they can be is enough- the rest will come!  Setting goals for yourself and celebrating the achievement of the goals, I hope to be a patient teacher as well as setting an example by continuing to apply courage and focus to training.

WHEW! 

My final hero is a group of people that I look at and realize have common traits. These people are: Jan E, Linda w and Jane C. These women have all lost their partners, the love of their life to a horrible disease cancer. The grace, strength and resolve that all three of these women had during the illness' leaves me in awe. The strength to continue with life after losing their partners is something that I look to as a source of strength and inspiration and something that let's me put life struggles in perspective!

My third hero is my sister in law Janeel. She had been the primary caregiver for my brother, keeping him home doing everything for him until last year. In reality the sacrifices she made personally to keep him at home were above and beyond. Her love and dedication and strength are amazing, and a true tribute to the strength of love.

One of my favorite hero's is my son Steve. Steve was one of those kids that seemed to fight growing up, you know the kind, bright, but bored, he was always testing the limits and did not seem to get the messages.

Today he is one of the most focused, driven, responsible and generous people I know. He is so very patient with his children and step children (which he has 3), is always there to help a friend and/or family. I look at all that he takes on his shoulders and the strength and focus that he approaches everything with and always a smile on his face and am in awe of who is has become!

When I first started in classes it seemed it was mostly about the physical, gaining strength, gaining energy, gaining muscle.  Sure there was a small mental part required to concentrate on learning the forms etc, but it felt more physical than anything.

Now when I go to class, I am always wondering what kind of class is it going to be?  I have realized that some classes the focus is on the physical, strength,agility and endurance, some nights focus on the mental side of things,  and some nights it is a balance of both.  You never quite know what it is going to be until you walk on the floor (and sometimes only once class has started)!

I used to come to class looking forward to the pure physical exertion, leaving both spent and energized at the same time!

On those days that turned out to be more mental (slower pace, more focus on technique), I remember leaving feeling discouraged and to some extent not fulfilled.

It was one night leaving class after a more mental class when I thought I needed a physical class that I realized that I was really satisfied and felt like I got the best workout for me that day.  That reminded me of the many facets to martial arts, the journey through the belts is not just mastering one of them, but all of them. 

 Now I look forward to all the workouts and walk through the door with an open mind, knowing that I will walk out the door feeling fulfilled and satisfied no matter what the focus!

Lesson, be open, let yourself absorb everything about the art and allow yourself to focus on all aspects!

Last Sunday I volunteered to help at the MS Walk in Seattle- It was heartwarming to see the number of people who support this cause - As I was directing registration traffic, who started streaming in but the NFL mascots (I was trying to pay attention to my duties so could not stop them all for a picture). Attached is a picture of 2 of them.

In addition to the NFL Mascots I was touched by the young, old, healthy and the number of people living with MS came out to support the cause. I saw people walking with canes, with walkers, with support from someone else as well as being pushed in wheelchairs.  The strength and determination these walkers showed really made me stop and think about complaining about something being too hard, if someone who needs a cane or a walker can walk 5 miles then who am I to complain about a workout or training session being too hard!

I have long looked at the determination and strength that my brother has in making it through every day. The strength to just put one step in front of the other, the strength to get up every morning.  There is so much that we take for granted every day and we should always take a few moments to cherish and relish what we have been given.

After I finished the Registration help, I walked the course, as I was preparing to check out I was chatting with one of the other volunteers, a young lady who had lost her father to MS, he had the same type of MS as my brother (progressive), I was touched by her strength and her commitment.

If you are interested in donating to the cause donations can be made on my participant page located below until April 30th.  I thank you and all the folks that are either living with MS or will be diagnosed with MS thank you!

https://secure3.convio.net/nmss/site/SPageServer?pagename=Walk_Center&pc2_page=center&fr_id=22696

After connecting with the volunteer coordinator with the local MS Walk I am not only registered to walk but to help with the registration of the event.  I continue to balance my fund raising with not only volunteering with the event, but spending time with my brother  who continues his fight against MS. It seems that every week brings  a new challenge, with this week the fight being lung problems again, supporting my sister in law.

Please consider supporting me in the fund raising in the upcoming walk using the below link, and thank you for your emotional support every day!

Create a Custom URL:  http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/WASWalkEvents?px=4627972&pg=personal&fr_id=22696

I remember starting out in Martial Arts, and how tentative I was.  Being in class with all the other people – I kept thinking, How do I make those moves? My arms and legs don’t move that way!

You think to yourself I’m not sure I can do that, but I’ll give it a try!

Everyone in class is so intimidating, they are confident and strong.  Then slowly you find that your kicks are more comfortable, the forms flow easier.  You start to think I CAN do this!  Then you get your yellow belt.  You start being able to keep up, but the strength and power are not there, you are still intimidated by the higher belts. 

You keep at it saying all the while, I’m not sure I can do this, but I will give it a try.

You finally gain confidence and get into a comfortable rhythm, then comes the test and the next belt-the new forms, more strength and power, and again you think, I’m not sure I can do that, but I’ll give it a try.   The path becomes more physical, and you keep on.

The forms get more complex and while the physical challenge is still there, you sense a shift- the challenge becomes more mental, - putting the concepts together (refining the forms, making them more precise, crisp), you realize you are a high belt.  Mental, to continue to push the physical, even when you may not feel like it.

 And instead of the thought being I’m not sure I can do this- but I’ll give it a try- you find yourself thinking I CAN do this!  That is the mental part conquering all, preparing you for the big jump to your black belt.

Several months ago I was injured during Martial Arts.  Once I got over the initial pain of injury I determined I was at a cross road.

Have surgery and rehab with the possibility of returning back to a high level of physical activity including martial arts or do not have surgery and live a life of limited physical activity which basically meant walking only.

Thinking back to life before martial arts- I could return to a life where I felt lethargic and just not well and walking through life a day at a time; or return to a life where I was energetic, enthusiastic and had a zest for life.   I chose the latter. This meant surgery, a period of inactivity and then serious rehabilitation.

Many people asked me after inquiring how I injured myself, “Are you going back?” This I also thought long and hard about- why Martial Arts, why not something else?  What are the alternatives? Weight Lifting, Treadmill (which meant gym, crowded machines and all that goes with that)? This lead me to think about why I joined Martial Arts: To improve concentration, and focus (there is a mental side to martial arts, an inner strength that you work on), along with the physical side, you get a great workout, but advance at your own pace as your skills allow, and you get to do this with great people who all support one another in a collaborative way.   Working hard toward a new goal – e.g. New belt!

The rehabilitation process I discovered is a journey, much like the journey towards a black belt.

I looked at this journey as being my opportunity to focus on the mental aspects of Martial Arts.

Thankfully post-surgery I had the support of family and friends, letting me know it was ok to feel the pain and it would get better. 

Then my support network grew to include my physical therapist- this started within days of surgery. Armed with a set of exercises to do between physical therapy appointments I was determined to start the journey.

What worked for me:

• Trust your providers, Doctors, Physical Therapists- They see this all the time and will tell you what to expect and where you should be.
• Track your progress- I kept a daily journal of my exercises, and how often I did them,
• Set Goals for yourself- and reward yourself for achieving them (much like a new belt)
• Be honest with yourself and your providers- let them know how and what you are doing, they will let you know if you are on the right track, and more importantly when you can step up your level of activity,
• Negotiate with your providers- As you show progress- don’t be afraid to negotiate new activities with your providers- I was able to negotiate the ability to punch , which gave me a higher level of physical activity,
• Be patient, you have to give yourself the time, you will have good days and bad days, allow yourself to have the bad days knowing it is your bodies way of telling you to rest,
• Listen to your body, every one handles and heals from injuries differently, your body will tell you when you are ready for more or when you are pushing things too much,

I am happy to say that I am days away from being able to kick using my injured leg as a pivot leg, and I know that as my leg becomes stronger the jumping and sparring activities will come.

Since I have been back at Mercer Island Martial Arts even though I have been limited in my abilities while recovering, anything that I was able to do was embraced, and encouraged, using this energy to help heal.

I am participating in the American Cancer Society-Relay For Life in memory of Mike Wellings, Dick Lundquist, David Cribbs and my mother who was a 20 year survivor of Cancer, and in support of Lois Lundquist who is currently battling breast cancer. This is a disease that knows no boundaries and takes a huge toll not only on those fighting the disease but their friends, family and caregivers. If you can contribute to my goal of 100.00 I would be forever grateful.   You can donate using the link below or catch me at class some week.  The event is June 12-13 so you have plenty of time! Thank you